Learning about selfishness

This week was really great. We are still struggling to find work. Blow in's are always really hard. We are hitting the ward list really really hard. We saw nine members this week, and we have started doing a really fun spiritual thought. I remember when I was growing up, the biggest reason I didn't help the missionaries do missionary work was because I didn't know how. I honestly thought that the only way to share the gospel with your friends was to wait for them to come up to me and tell me that they wanted to be baptized. I never realized that it was as simple as explaining why we don't drink coffee, Or inviting someone to church with my family. So we have been doing role play to help them bring up the gospel in casual conversations so they feel confident sharing it with their friends. We hope to see fruits come from that. If nothing else we are hoping the members will get excited about sharing the gospel.

Other good news, really really good exciting news. We have one progressing investigator named Martin He wants desperately to be baptized but his mom is very contrary to the church. So this week we did a lesson on the power of prayer, and encouraged him to pray to soften his mother's heart so that he can come to church, and that evening she invited us to dinner at her house. This is huge progress, and we are so excited. We will be eating with them tonight.

I am learning to adapt my finding techniques for Taranto. In Siracusa all of our investigators came from English course. In Rome working with the ward list was really succesful. In Catania our biggest challenge was getting people to stop talking and feel the spirit, so we created a survey with questions that stated our doctrine very clearly, and we had great success with that. Here it seems like none of those work to the same degree. From what I have seen the best finding tool there is testifying to people, which requires us to be really bold. One thing that I am going to try to do is find one question of the soul (which are listed in the Book of Mormon section of preach my gospel.) every day to ask people on the bus, during finding etc. and show them the response from the Book of Mormon. Hopefully it brings results.

If you have any suggestions for what we could do more. Please let us know, being 'blown in' (this means that both missionaries are new to the area, so they are starting from scratch) is really hard, and we are kind of grasping at straws. If there is anyone who served a mission, what worked on your mission? Converts, what made you decide to talk to the missionaries, member's what have missionaries said to you that made you want to share the gospel? I have promised the Lord that I am going to put everything into this city, and I am trying really hard. I have been feeling the spirit a lot more strongly, and I have seen huge obvious blessings in the work here. I truly am grateful for my opportunity to serve here.

Another huge lesson I have learned in Taranto is about selfishness. It's interesting how our perception of selfishness is very narrow. We think of people who won't share, who want to talk only about themselves etc, but it's a lot more common than that. Self loathing is actually the biggest form of selfishness and pride that I have seen on my mission. It makes people think about themselves constantly, how everything affects them, and when someone hates themselves they cannot love anyone else, because every human flaw becomes a malicious act from someone truly evil. I have been studying it a lot lately, and I'm trying to become less selfish. When ever I do something I try to ask myself what are my motives for doing this. Am I looking for attention, or a number, or am I actually trying to bless someone? Do I want this investigator to get baptized so that I can be known as a missionary who baptizes, or so that this person can draw closer to Christ? Am I being kind to this person because I want them to be happier,or because I want them to like me? What's crazy is the people that master this (like my companion Sorella Bair) are the happiest. They don't spend all of their time imagining that everyone hates them, because it doesn't matter. All that matters is how they can bless others. So far I am making great progress. I have been able to identify how many of my thoughts truly are completely sefish, so now I know where to start. I love you all and I hope that you are having a great week.

Love,

Sorella Spencer