Sorella Spencer's Adventures in Italy : I knew exactly how it was going to play out.

So almost a year and a half ago, I left on a mission. I knew exactly how it was going to play out. I was going to learn the language perfectly over night, I was going to have only companions that were my best friends, and all of my investigators were going to progress towards baptism. Then I was going to come back to a picture perfect life, where nothing had changed, and I would be able to fit seamlessly back into it, and I would have a perfect plan of what I was doing.

I have no idea when and where it all went wrong, but a year and a half later, almost none of that has happened. It has been messy, hard, humbling, and I nearly gave up, a lot of times. I still make dumb Italian errors (the other day in the store I asked the woman for zucchero in cane instead of zucchero di cana. So instead of brown sugar I asked for sugar of dog. I still blame Sorella Winegar, she was distracting me).

I'm not perfect, but I wouldn't change any of it. It was all raw and human, and is making me the person I am supposed to become. I have learned to forgive myself and others because we are all human, and if I screw up as frequently as I do, how could I ever expect someone else not to.

I have learned to respond with sympathy instead of anger, or to not respond at all because I will regret the anger later.

I have learned to laugh, because when you are locked outside of your apartment, without keys, in the rain and you left the two greenies alone with an Italian cell phone, which they broke, because they don't speak Italian, and you don't want to call your district leader because he asked you to please stop doing unplanned scambis without permission and you forgot until the moment where you were standing outside your apartment without the keys the only thing that keeps your from fighting or crying is laughing, and because those moments where everything goes wrong, are actually the most beautiful moments that we experience, and we only get them for so long and then they are over.

Mortality is short, and I could be wrong but I don't think we get those sort of moments in the next life. Those moments are something purely human, that we have to savor (just for the record the lecture that I received was very very short because I think the elders felt like we had already learned our lesson well enough from the locked out rain part), so mainly I'm rambling, and this wasn't as poetic as I had hoped, but I can't really fix it because it's my turn to buy groceries this week, so I hope it makes at least a little bit of sense. If not, I'm sorry.

The last thing I want to add is I'm not coming back to the life I had planned when I left. A lot of things have changed, I can't go back to my old major because I don't speak French anymore, and a lot of people have changed their lives in a way that I don't really fit into them anymore, and frankly I don't want what I wanted before, and it's ok, because finally, I'm starting to believe all the promises Heavenly Father has made to me.

When I was 16 I didn't plan to go to BYU, but He did. When I was 18 I didn't plan to serve a mission, but He did, and I'm so grateful because if I had followed my plan I have no idea where it would have taken me, but I do know that I wouldn't be in Sassari, Italy, sitting next to Sorella Winegar, and I wouldn't change that for anything.

So no, I have no idea what comes next, absolutely none. I have a few tentative ideas, but frankly 6 months from now, I could be anywhere, and it would not suprise me, and I'm ok with that, because in the end my Heavenly Father does, and I know that what he has planned out for me is so much better than what I have planned out for me. So I'm going to stop this rambling and go buy groceries. I love you all, and I can't wait to see you all after having lived every possible moment of my mission to the fullest.

Sorella Spencer

p.s. a little bit of explanation of the photos.

the random pictures of Sorella Winegar, are all of her firsts as a missionary.

the one's of me in a purple shirts with hearts was a really fun p-day we did to a castle that was closed so we went on a hike instead. Everything in Sardegnia is surrounded by water, so the hike was on a beach.

The one of me in a blue shirt is a p-day that I actually hated because we kind of got kidnapped, and I was tired, and I forgot my wallet, and everyone kept insisting on buying me stuff anyway, but I did like the part where we found random sea animals and I got to hold them. I am forever a 6 year old child when it comes to animals.

The one of me in a green shirt is our thanksgiving lunch after ddm. Sorella Winegar convinced me not to brush my hair which is why I look so dumb. She also convinced us to eat our pumpkin pie with just our faces. Anz. Borner turned out to be particularly skilled. The picture of me with the bowl full of whipped cream is my attempt at pink stuff. It was fruit with whipped cream.... every generation the recipe gets a little simpler. (there is no jello or mini marshmallows in Italy.)

p.p.s. we also have a really cool investigator named Fiametta who started making a ton of progress this week. She could use a lot of prayers! Also Alessandro is working towards getting the priesthood!!!!!!!